People Leaders – we all know them. Those leaders who seem to connect with their people with ease, have the ears of the right people and get all the cheerful, positive and enthusiastic people on board. Infuriating? Sure it is! But have you ever wondered how they do it?

Image Source: Friends

I love Scott Dinsmore’s approach – that the best “Connectors” follow a set of daily habits and that we can use these to guide us as we approach the people around us.

As I immersed myself in his post, two things jumped out for me:

• Firstly, that the stand-out People Leaders in my experience – those who really connect well with their people and stakeholders, exhibit many of these habits. They live and breathe these as authentic parts of their daily routine.
• Secondly, that a key to my own leadership growth is to reflect and invest time and effort on the habits that matter most to me.

I was genuinely moved by Scott’s list and have picked out a few of my personal favorites – the habits that really hit home for me as a student of leadership. Aside from a few tweaks, they are his ideas. I just agree with them!

21 stand-out habits of the very best People Leaders

1. Make friends. This is the foundation. Making genuine connections is nothing more than making friends. You don’t have hidden agendas and constantly push products and talk about yourself with your friends. You put friends first. You listen to them. You hear their problems so you can help in any way you can. Act accordingly.
2. Smile. This is by far the fastest way in the world to create a connection. It’s also a powerful show of confidence, which people respect and are drawn to. Smiles are contagious and the simple act makes people feel better. Whether it’s a close friend, a bus driver, someone you’re dying to meet or you’re just walking down the street or into a room of strangers, there is no stronger opener.
3. Contribute. Meeting people is about making their lives better. Whether that’s by giving them a smile, a new job or anything in between – there is a way to help everyone. See everyone as a chance to help. Give like crazy, embrace generosity and make others more successful.
4. Know what matters. Do your research. Learn as much as you can about the people you are engaging with. Treat it as a sign of respect. Read their blogs and books, take their courses, sign up for their newsletters, learn about their interests, passions and charity work. Anything you can to show that you want a real, lasting connection. With today’s online tools, it really is ridiculously simple to learn about someone before trying to interact with them.
5. Be open to conversation. Embrace opportunities to talk with those around you. Everyone has something to offer, everyone can teach you something.
6. Make days & provide memorable experiences. Get in the habit of making peoples’ days better. This could be as simple as a smile, compliment or heartfelt thank you. Do it regularly. And do not be stingy – spread it around.
7. Make your people your priority. There is no more important task for anyone than surrounding yourself with the right people. It’s what leaders, do. Make it central to your day.
8. Be well-groomed. It’s not about wearing expensive clothes and watches, but it is about being presentable and taking pride in your appearance. The little things matter. People will not want to be around you if you look or smell bad.
9. Be authentic. Never be someone you’re not. People can smell a fake from a mile away. Open yourself up. Tell your story. Talking about the weather does not build connection. Being real does.
10. Keep track of things that matter. After every meeting or interaction with someone, write down what stood out, what you learned about them, their goals, their interests, family, birthdays. Anything that helps you see them as a real, unique person.
11. Find common ground. Everyone has something in common – see it as a fun challenge to find what it is. The faster you can find shared ideas, beliefs and interests, the quicker you can relate.
12. Remember names. Nothing feels better than hearing your own name, especially from someone you just met. And “I’m not good with names,” does not fly. No one is good with names unless they practice! This alone puts you on a whole new level.
13. Tell stories. People connect on energy and emotion, not facts and statistics. Communicate with stories as often as possible and encourage others to tell theirs. Know the fun stories of your life and share them with others.
14. See friends, rather than strangers. When you walk into a room, see the new faces not as strangers but as friends you have yet to meet. You see the world in a more similar way to others than you probably realize – especially if you’re at the same event or a part of the same communities. Start a conversation expecting that you will have things in common.
15. Pay attention. The easiest way to be interesting is to be interested. Find excitement in what you can learn from others. Hear what they say. Listen and learn about what matters to them. Not so you can say something back as soon as possible, but so you can get a window into their world. People want to tell their story. Be excited to hear it.
16. See opportunity in others. Every new person is a chance to connect and help, and has the possibility of being the person you’ve been dying to meet. You won’t know unless you say hi.
17. Create trust. Every interaction is a chance to either build trust or erode it. Do what you say. Show up on time. Give of yourself. Slowly open up your real world to others and they’ll do the same for you.
18. Believe in people. Know that most people are inherently good and want to help as much as they want to be helped. They want to make the meaningful connections as badly as you do. They want to hear your story and they want to tell you theirs.
19. Connect people. Bring groups together. Host events. Introduce friends who have similar interests. Make it your job to bring the right people together. There is no more powerful service you can provide.
20. Be a mentor as well as mentee. There will always be people above and below. Be the mentor for a few people not quite at your level and find mentors to help lift you up. Embrace both roles. You can’t have one without the other. Do your part.
21. Show up. Connections don’t happen in your house or office. You must get out there, say hello and reach out. This can start with emails and online connecting but this is only the very beginning. Nothing makes a more powerful impact than meeting in the flesh. Don’t hide behind technology. Get out of your office and from behind the computer, work from a coffee shop instead of your living room and be in the places where other passionate people hang out.

Pulling it all together

As you read these, I challenge you to reflect, both on your own habits and on those of the people leaders that you admire most. What can you do better? Can you put these into practice and build authentic, spontaneous and lasting engagement with your people? Are there any that you would add to the list? Are there any that you would remove?

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